help my unbelief

I seriously have so many posts sitting in my drafts folder that I haven’t had the chance to read over and edit 😦 ! Life is stupid crazy around here and that’s definitely not something that I’m proud of… Anyway, so000… I got a tattoo last weekend! Eek!. I’m sure to many it comes as a surprise and to some, you knew it was coming…and that it’s not my first.

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I’ve been sitting on the idea of this tattoo for over a year and half now and it probably means so much more to me now than it did when I first started flirting with the idea of getting it.

For the past three years, I’ve been learning about what it looks like to live a life of faith rather than to be enslaved by my fears. I actually distinctively remember speaking with a friend before moving to Northwest Arkansas and saying- “I can’t wait to see God change me, fearful Sam, into a woman who is taking all sorts of risks in faith.”

I’d love to be able to tell you that I’ve fully arrived to that place, but that’s simply not the truth. I’ve seriously grown so much and have gotten to see God do some incredible things in my life and the only way to describe that experience is in the words of Job-

I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself and repent[a] in dust and ashes. Job 42:5-6

With all that I’ve seen the Lord do, there is one thing I know I want for certain, and that is to believe with ALL of my heart, mind, soul, and LIFE that He IS who says He is. I want to so badly live out my life intentionally knowing this truth by the way I respond in my day to day. See, I believe that He IS who He says He is and know it to be true in my head,  but sometimes my heart has a hard time believing it and I find myself responding in the same way the father of the boy Jesus healed of an unclean spirit in Mark 9:14-29 responded.

Though he had enough faith to bring his son to Jesus, he says to Him- “if you can do anything…” Y’all, I have prayed these wimpy prayers multiple times in my life, but like the account of this story-Jesus does not condemn me. He instead responds  in grace saying 23 And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out[d] and said, “I believe;help my unbelief!”

You know what’s also cool about this story? the father wasn’t the only one doubting-even the disciples later asked Jesus how come they couldn’t heal the boy and Jesus told them 

“This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”

but this father, was humble enough to ask for more faith. That my friends is where I find myself. If ever you pray for me, this is all I ask-pray that God would give me more faith and that I would be found steadfast through the storms of life ever so still in His presence.

Tattoo font: Throw my Hands Up in the Air (dafont.com)

Placement: Left wrist-I needed to be able to see it EVERYDAY and well, my heart is on the left so… lol

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One thought on “help my unbelief

  1. Nicole Christian says:

    So, I’ve wanted the father’s response on my wrist for years now. “I believe” on the left, and “help my unbelief” on the right. If this is not every Christian’s struggle, I don’t know what is. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

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